Rethinking Triggers: From Avoidance to Awareness

The word trigger has become something of a buzzword lately. As our collective awareness around mental health grows, it’s showing up more and more in everyday conversation. But something else is happening alongside this, people are starting to fear their triggers.

We’ve come to believe that if we can identify what triggers us, we can avoid it and dodge the pain. Sounds logical, right? Avoid the trigger, avoid the discomfort.

The reality? It’s actually counterproductive.

And just when you thought you had this whole mental health thing figured out - surprise! You’re on a learning curve. But that’s the beauty of life: we never stop learning. Each moment of awareness, even the uncomfortable ones, brings growth, lightness, and self-compassion.

Let’s lean into curiosity rather than judgment. The more light we bring in, the more space we create to heal. 

What Do We Mean by “Trigger”?

Originally, the word trigger was used in the medical and psychological world to describe something that provokes a strong emotional or physical response, a catalyst.

Triggers can show up in many forms:

• Emotional triggers: Something that stirs feelings like fear, anger, sadness, or shame.

• Physical triggers: Bodily reactions, a racing heart, tension, sweating even when you don’t consciously know why.

For example, if someone was once yelled at harshly, a raised voice (even delivered kindly) might cause anxiety or fear.

Triggers aren’t always obvious, and they vary from person to person.

Why Avoiding Pain Doesn’t Work

Avoiding emotional pain is something many of us do instinctively. Pain, whether physical or emotional, signals danger, so we try to escape it or suppress it. But here’s the catch: when we continually avoid pain, it doesn’t disappear. It buries itself deeper.

That buried pain can start to manifest in other ways, through anxiety, emotional numbness, distraction, or even physical symptoms. The avoidance itself becomes another layer of pain.

Addictions, compulsive behaviors, even overworking, these are not causes of distress but symptoms of avoidance. They are attempts to protect us from the original wound.

Pain, uncomfortable as it is, is a signal. It’s your body and mind saying, “Hey, something needs attention here.” Avoiding it means missing the chance to understand it, and understanding is where healing begins.

Leaning Into Triggers with Curiosity

Recognising your triggers is powerful — it shows self-awareness and a willingness to grow. But let’s take it a step further. Instead of avoiding triggers, what if we got curious about them?

Ask yourself:

• What is this moment trying to teach me?

• What emotion is this stirring within me?

• What is my body trying to tell me right now?

Your triggers aren’t the enemy. They’re messengers, signals that something inside you needs care, compassion, and understanding.

When you meet your triggers with curiosity instead of fear, you begin to rewrite your relationship with yourself. You start to hear, validate, and nurture the parts of you that once felt unsafe.

Creating Space for Awareness (Not Perfection)

When a trigger arises, it’s normal for emotions to feel heightened. No one expects you to start analysing or “fixing” it in that exact moment. Instead, take a pause. Let the feeling exist.

Grounding yourself in those moments helps you stay connected to the present, rather than getting swept up in the emotional storm.

These techniques can help:

1. Focus on Your Breath

When emotions rise, your breathing often becomes shallow. Try deep belly breathing, inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4. This simple rhythm calms your nervous system and restores balance.

2. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise

Name:

• 5 things you can see

• 4 things you can touch

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste

  This helps anchor you back into the present moment.

3. Label Your Emotions

Instead of saying, “I’m overwhelmed,” try identifying the specific feeling: “I feel sad,” “I feel angry,” “I feel rejected.” Naming emotions brings clarity and lessens their intensity.

4. Practice Mindful Awareness

Notice your emotions without judgment. Remind yourself that feelings are temporary and that it’s okay to experience them fully.

5. Move Your Body

A simple stretch, walk, or shake can release tension and reset your energy. Movement helps emotions flow instead of stagnating.

6. Take a Step Back

If possible, give yourself some space, even a few minutes, to regroup. This isn’t avoidance; it’s creating room to respond rather than react.

7. Practice Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself. You’re learning, and that takes courage. Speak to yourself as you would to a friend who’s struggling, with gentleness and care.

8. Redirect Your Focus

If your emotions feel too heavy, shift your attention briefly. Look out a window, listen to calming music, or think about a safe, comforting place.

The more you practice these techniques, the more naturally they’ll come when you need them most.

A Shift in Perspective

Growing and evolving into your authentic self is one of the greatest, and most ongoing, lessons of your life.

Your triggers, pain, emotions, and curiosity aren’t obstacles; they’re teachers. They guide you toward deeper awareness and balance.

Let’s stop fearing our triggers and start listening to them. Let’s create more space for compassion, curiosity, and growth, because that’s where real healing begins.

If you’d like to explore your triggers in a safe and supported space, therapy can help you understand and nurture the parts of yourself that feel most tender. Together, we can turn those moments of discomfort into insight, growth, and self-compassion.

If you’re ready to listen more deeply to yourself, I’m here to walk that path with you.

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